Remember that quote?

“Dream big. Start small. But most of all, start.” – Simon Sinek

I haven’t given myself time to forget it yet. I’ve decided to give myself small goals. One at a time. So here we go.

First small goal- to edit and share photos from my last year of traveling and exploring- at least one photo a day. Just to make it seems less intimidating, I’m going to start with just one a day for a week. I will try to share a little something with each photo. Even if all it is, is a caption.

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USF Verftet, May 2016

I went to Bergen as a starting point, before I went to Eid. This was where I would have a week in a restaurant where I’d only heard of the Chef through our mutual friends. Then something amazing happened. I fell in love with a community of people. I became a part of something that sucked me in and made me do everything I could to stay. Bergen, and the community I found there, became home base for the 6 months that I spent in Denmark and Norway. I tried to stay longer. I wasn’t successful, and I still find myself a little sad thinking about these amazing people and how much I miss them. A little bit before I flew back to New York, I had the opportunity to spend an afternoon with Irmelin and Anne Kim, a girls night. And just so much fun. I do want to visit Bergen again. But the thing that pulled me in the most was the people. We’re all a bit scattered around now, as is what happens in the restaurant industry. Maybe in this case – to a little bit more of an extreme with such an international community. I like to think that it only furthers my desire to continue my travels. If only to spend more time with each of them.

The Daily Edit.

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You Take it, and you Make it.

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I find myself looking ahead at this New Year and already my expectations are high- my dreams are too many-too big- and overwhelming. It’s a typical habit of mine. So, I wonder what I can do to narrow the scope. Towards the end of 2016 I find myself with several notebooks full of lists, brainstorm diagrams, cartoon drawings, concept art, etc. : ideas written on c-folds, post its, pieces of green tape, various restaurant’s menus and guest tickets- of a thing that I’ve been gearing up to do for over a year. Of “this thing I’m working on”. I keep talking about it, trying to narrow down what it is going to be. A website? A magazine? A blog? And who it will serve. Myself? Will it give a written voice to these crazy subjects that I have become so passionate about? I think-ugh. Does anyone even want to know what I think?

An example of my messy brainstorming. A draft half formed.

One of the people who has inspired me immensely this past year to continue to put pen to paper, even when I’ve yet to have something to show for it- is a friend of mine who manages to just make amazing things. Regularly. I frustratingly compare to this truly remarkable ability to work hard to my haphazard collection of notes and feelings of inadequacy. To my concern that nothing I do is ready yet or perfect yet- so it stays in this constant state of gestation. Ideas are happening, but nothing is made. I try to remind myself that it doesn’t have to be “finished”. That just getting notes down is a start. That an outline from those notes is a step, that writing a draft, and even publishing it with all of the fear that entails- is something. Is work. I try to remind myself that I can come back to it. Add in photos. That I shouldn’t stop taking photos because I’m so disappointed in the ones I have. Don’t stop taking things in. Don’t stop trying to make it.

“Don’t stop taking things in. Don’t stop trying to make it.”

To be completely honest- this whole post started because I wanted to share my friend’s end of the year post in a more meaningful way than simply reposting it to my Facebook wall. It was more about highlighting his work and my admiration of it. I hope to start to showcase these people in my life who are amazing! At least, that’s another idea I’ve written down somewhere. So I started to write, but here this draft has sat for weeks. Now that I’ve returned, it’s become a vastly different story.

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Here I work towards yet another goal, better photos through editing.

In any case, before I forget- please take a moment to check out some of what Justin Khanna is doing on YouTube (his Hong Kong Video is still one of my favorites) , and on medium for his 2017 Playbook. A piece that is much more thought out than this writing has turned out to be.

For me- I feel like the pregnancy of “this thing I want to do” has been a big part of 2016. I plan to see it through to being a tangible, made part of 2017. I am willing to grow it as organically, and hopefully less messily than all of my crazy notes. I plan to push myself to write, to create, to continue to take pictures and draw concepts, and this year- I’m going to share them. Really.

A foray into wine studies

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I feel I understand what may have motivated Maryse Chevriere of freshcutgardenhose to illustrate wine descriptions .

I’m currently reading a treatise of a wine style by a Master of Wine.  I stumbled upon the website Tastingworks.com recently in my very broad stab at researching what I refer to as “my next move”.   I have found myself captivated by this academic and erudite approach to wine.  Yet while her very technical knowledge is incredible and worth a second and even third read, I still have eye crossing moments, as I visualize phrases like :

“…like peeking into a barn filled with bruised golden delicious and razor apples”

or

“The tannins resemble vibrating cello strings”.

Now, as a former cello student, I know what a vibrating cello string looks like. How does that translate to the 2007 Château Rayas that Lisa Granik MW was referring too? How does that look? How does that taste? Now I want to know.  Lisa Granik’s writing is challenging in a way that I love.  I am fumbling through. An amateur in the most real understanding of the term.   I have made one of my newest Moleskin notebook acquisitions into a messy list of terms to look up. Wine terms, dictionary terms.  I am reading what feels like an academic paper.  One that showcases an immense amount of knowledge and expertise and yet is still engaging. I would love to find a writing style that is somewhere between where I am now and what she does. It is inspiring.

What my reading has reminded me again and again is that truly I am a wine noob.  I begin to read one of Tastingwork’s blogs about Châteauneuf-du-Pape and find myself flummoxed as I try to understand the context. I can’t at first. I’m lost. Wait, all of the times that my friend John referred to this wine I assumed it was the name of a wine. It’s not? There are different CDP’s? Is it a region? No-not exactly. What? What’s an AC? How does that apply- what? What?  Having to relearn what I was reading about before I could go on reading about it- that’s a new one.   I start to think about the assumptions that John had to have made in his references to this wine. And the assumptions that I made while listening to him.   I started to think about the way he refers to wine as an educated professional. Do I talk that way about food to him? And to others? I’m sure that I do.

I know that I do.   You should see my recipe notebooks. Most of the recipes are simply a list of ingredients. Sometimes there are brackets and arrows as the only instruction. Some that have instruction are written in a restaurant shorthand. Sentences like “Whip eggs as to make pate bombe.” or “Temper in eggs (Anglaise).”  Don’t even get me started on Baker’s percentages. Sheesh.

In my most roundabout way I am trying to get to three general points.

One: People who have immersed themselves in a course of study and a community of other people who do the same have a tendency to forget that everyone else might not know what they know. So when someone- like my sommelier friend John, assumes that I know exactly what he’s talking about- I should take that as a compliment. And then feel free to ask questions.  Lots of questions.

Two: When I talk about things that I am immersed in and surrounded by, I should take care not to assume that everyone around me knows what I’m talking about.

Three: Maybe when we are intimidated by a culture or a person, or assume that there is a level of snobbery associated with it that feels unbreachable- that some of that doesn’t necessarily come from a condescending place.

“…The whole part of the restaurant industry that just seems over the top sometimes: can and should include a certain amount of humor.”

Beyond this- there is something else that I LOVE to point out… Wine descriptions, food descriptions, the whole part of the restaurant industry that just seems over the top sometimes; can and should include a certain amount of humor.  There are a lot of things to learn.  Just, don’t forget to laugh. And don’t forget that it’s good to ask questions. It’s great to find something that makes you pull out a dictionary. Or, well, ask the internet.

And if you haven’t seen Maryse’s amazing illustrations on instagram yet, please do. She’s incredibly talented. Just won a James Beard Award in fact.  But more importantly, she has a good sense of humor.

Relevent Links:

Find Lisa Granik’s brilliant writing at Tastingworks

Enjoy Maryse Chevriere on instagram at  freshcutgardenhose

Stop by and see what I’m up to on instagram at amandavertigo

 

 

 

 

 

There’s a Viking King Buried in the Parking Lot & Other Stories

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I’m not kidding.  Really.  But I’ll get to that in a moment.

Leon has this way of explaining things last minute.  I imagine that running a business while working as a Chef at a local hotel means that there isn’t a lot of room for extraneous details.  I arrive in Måløy by ferry late one night, left Bergen on one of the rare sunny days of my stay.  Leon picked me up and we drove the 40 minutes to Eid, catching up, chatting.  There’s a lot of “Oh, and did I mention…” .  He tells me that we’re doing an interview with a local paper the next day.  He tells me that there’s a party the following Saturday (in three days) for the Bakery, and I have something nice to wear, right? [I didn’t.]  Oh by the way, did I tell you… etc.   It’s pretty amazing, and great.  Kept me surprised, that’s for sure.

Now back to the Viking King.  We’re driving into Eid, and pass a big construction site on the fjord edge.  Leon tells me in his by the way fashion that there’s a viking king buried in a mound behind the bakery.  Buried with his ship as is tradition.  The town is putting more earth into the fjord. Building out into it for more space as they have done in the past.  And the structure that they are working on is going to be a museum for the Viking finds in Eid.  I’m not sure what I was expecting to see, but literally a mound of dirt in parking lot behind the bakery wasn’t it.  IMG_3678Leon said that Khang didn’t believe him.  I laughed, but honestly I couldn’t blame him.  It looks like some of the mounds my dad used to create with his tractor so we could ride motorcycles on new trails every year or so. No markings, no pomp and circumstance.  It’s just there.  It’s just so Norwegian. By the way there’s this huge archeological find, but we just know it’s there and live our lives around it.

I even hesitate to post this on the off chance that Leon was just screwing with me. Still, the point is that there’s a difference in the way that people think in Norway compared to the states.  I’m no expert, so I could be completely wrong.  But there are a lot of things that hold value in the U.S. that simply don’t in a country where religion hasn’t really held value in a long time.  There are things that don’t hold value in a society that isn’t based on capitalism. Of course there are more influences than those two things, and it’s much more complex than a few sentences in a quick blog can express.  My point is there are a lot of little differences in the way that our societies look at the world.  And it’s fascinating to me.  I have been spending a fair amount of time noticing the way that people in different places are still very much the same, how people are people with the same emotions and general wants and needs.    Still, the ways in which we diverge are also something I have been contemplating.   In social expectations, in mindsets about how the world should be.  Ideas of how to behave and react.    It’s an education for myself.  Makes me question my own ideas of how I think.  Or if not question, then to be able to reexamine them.  It’s not a bad thing, opening up your mind to possibilities.  To different views.    Suddenly the world is bigger and smaller and a whole lot more and less complex, all at the same time.   I plan to keep my eyes and ears open, understand a little more before I can tell you what I’ve learned.

I hope that you might have the chance to experience that there is a world that someone else lives in and sees.  The same world that you currently occupy.  That there is more than one way to live in it, to value it.  I hope that you might have the chance to open your eyes and live side by side with that world.  Maybe, merge a bit of yours should you desire.

Because there is a Viking King buried in the parking lot, and we’re going to live in that world that he once occupied.  I love the idea that I could live in my world with respect for his.  I love the idea that really, it’s all one and the same.

 

To a Year of Exploration and Fewer Complaints

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Eid, Norway. December 2015
Christmas in Eid, 2015

This year I spent Christmas in Eid.  I celebrated with my new friends and family that I met there.  A few of the days I spent quietly by myself, watching movies, trying to relax and reading a book or two.  One afternoon was bright and clear and beautiful, if cold.  I went for a walk for a while, did my best to appreciate the moment, and the little things in my life that had brought me there.  It was easy to feel full of love with the world around me, taking in the life and the beauty that was in front of me.  The views- so gorgeous, like a postcard of a winter wonderland- were amazing.

Since I moved to Europe, there simply haven’t been many opportunities for me to complain or to unload.  That simple act of grabbing a bear or a coffee at the end of a long shift and being able to talk about the things that bothered you is not part of my life right now.  I spend time with people who I am so humbled to be taken care of by, I don’t feel it’s appropriate to spend any of their time with my moments of frustration.  I don’t feel like I’ve been part of the long haul enough to have that luxury.  The time difference and my work schedule make it difficult to share my thoughts as easily with my friends and family.  The communication is harder.  When I do talk with them, I want to be positive.  I want to talk about the wonderful things that I have experienced.   Because of this, there have been very interesting consequences.  One is that I believe that I do need to find a better outlet for the concerns and frustrations of my day to day.  Not talking about any of it or unloading in some way can begin to wear on me.  I’m hoping that making time for a routine with more creative and physical outlets will help with that.  In my travels it hasn’t been easy to be consistent with working out or practicing music.   I want to make a better effort to give myself time to reflect, to write, to complete tasks.  I think it’s important to make little things consistent, since the more common ones such as having my own place to land, having more than just a suitcase to live out of, etc. are not available to me right now.  I want too much to be grateful for the experience that I am having. It doesn’t feel right having thoughts that aren’t all positive.  But that’s also unrealistic. It’s unrealistic to imagine that what I’m doing isn’t still hard.  It’s wonderful. I’m working in Europe.  At some of the best restaurants in the world.  I’m traveling and meeting new people and exploring new places.  I’m working enough in each place to learn more than I would if I was only visiting for a few days.   But I’m also having to leave those people that I have met and made friends with behind. I’m having to be the new person figuring out a new kitchen over and over again.  Living frugally can be very freeing, but also effects the way that I have used my income and freedom with my time and money as a means of empowerment.  I have to find that feeling of responsibility in other ways that don’t involve that freedom to spend.  I have to take care of people, and show my gratitude in ways that don’t involve a purchase. So much of my time here has been an invaluable learning experience in ways I never expected.

The other side of not complaining so much, is that I have been more happy.  Very much like changing a mood with a smile.  My everyday is more about the good things. I feel like a better friend.  I feel like a person that I might want to talk to.  I have been concentrating everyday on the things that I am grateful for, humbled by, in awe of.  I am so lucky for this experience.  I have also been learning about how some of it isn’t just luck, but skill. As well as strength and bravery, and perseverance.

It’s not always perfect, and I’m still trying to find a better balance.  I’m trying to find my feet. Trying to learn.  Trying to be open and honest with myself about why I feel the way I feel.

This Christmas I gave and received few physical gifts.  But I have been learning so much. So very happy with my experience and my time.  Above I have posted a few photos from my walk on Christmas Day. I hope you can enjoy them.  I loved taking them.

As always, I wish for you More Love. And more lightness of heart.

Amanda

Photos From the Road

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Road trip, camera in hand.

My coworker Khang and I drove from Eid to Bergen and back last weekend. We worked Saturday morning, drove to Bergen that afternoon. Two ferries across the fjords each way. One ferry ride just long enough to leave the car and grab a coffee and a svele. For the hour or so that we had some light, everything that I could see was beautiful. Khang teased me about how many photos I took. I plan to post a little something more about the weekend itself, and I admit to sleeping most of the drive back- I opened my eyes just enough to see more gorgeous views, but let my camera rest with me. For now, I wanted to share a few of the photos I managed out the window of Khang’s car. (I took them while I was not driving, of course.)

https://www.google.com/maps/d/edit?mid=zFZqV0ZU2cH8.k3MgtB_9Px74&usp=sharing

Spiced (á la Mexican) Hot Chocolate Pops

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I had a list. A list of items I was coming up to Eid (Norfjoreid, Norway) to make that I thought was fairly ambitious.  Over the last few months when Leon and I messaged back and forth the list grew.  Still, I thought that I could make it work.  Well, I hoped. It has grown, this list, even more since I got here.  We’ve made a few things I wasn’t expecting to get to at all, and left a few things that I was excited about behind.  I’ve loved the process, and I wish I had more time, more of me to make more of these fun things.  It’s in this last week that we’re stuck trying to play catch up to a demand we weren’t expecting that I’m having to pare back down to what feel like the essentials. Or the “best sellers we’ve had so far”.    Slowing down a bit on new things.  Ramping up on everything we (and that we is mostly me) make, getting ready for Christmas shoppers.

The Hot Cocoa Pops that Chef Leon asked me to make have been the sneaky guys on the shelf, getting sold when I least expect.  Almond brittle far outsells them, but I like them just the same. I intend to make time to keep some on the shelves of Minibakeriet for stocking stuffers. They are pretty tasty.  Also very simple to make.   And I promised I would post a recipe, so that my mom and my cousins (and anyone who wanted, of course) could make them at home.

I want to mention that I have adjusted a recipe I found from The Giver’s Log to suit my personal tastes and the bakery’s needs.  I have always loved chocolate that is spicy and rich, and the darker the better. If it was me, I would double the amount of chocolate on one pop, or use two for one 8oz glass of milk, top it off with more spices- stir it with a cinnamon stick even.  A good thick sipping chocolate.  But I wasn’t just making this for me. So we’ll go with the version I made for the bakery.  Something that appeals to even the kiddos, and still evokes in me memories of the Ibarra chocolate I love and have no chance of finding here in Norway. (Mom, mail me Ibarra!)

Spiced Hot Chocolate Pops

Ingredients:

  • 455 g  72% Valrhona Araguani (Dark Chocolate)
  • 40g   Valrhona Cocoa Rouge (Cocoa Powder)
  • 110g  Powdered Sugar (Confectioners Sugar)
  • 8g      Cinnamon
  • 1/8t   Cayenne

You will also need: Wooden spoons or popsicle sticks, a silicon mold- a silicon Ice cube tray will work great, and a piping bag.

Method for pops:

  1. Make sure silicon mold is as clean and dry as possible.  I recommend washing it and popping it in the oven for a few minutes.  It won’t melt, and should cool down enough to use once the chocolate mixture is ready.
  2. Sift together the Cocoa Powder, Powdered Sugar, Cinnamon, and Cayenne.
  3. Melt the dark chocolate in a heat proof bowl, either stirring carefully over a pot of simmering water or in a microwave in small increments of 30-60 seconds.
  4. Mix the sifted ingredients into the melted chocolate thoroughly.
  5. Pour mixture into piping bag and pipe into prepared molds.
  6. Once the chocolate starts to set, place wooden spoons in each mold.
  7. Do not refrigerate. Let harden in a cool, dry place.  Package as desired.

A note on Chocolate: In the bakery I use Valrhona or Callebaut.   High quality chocolate is best, not “melting chips” or chocolate with a lot of added oil. Valrhona’s 72% is one of my favorites.  It may also be harder to get, and a little pricey.  Guittard, Scharffenberger, Cacao Barry are all good options. Still, my best recommendation is to use something that you like.  And if you’re saving a penny or two: the Trader Joe’s Dark chocolate will work just fine.

A note on Spices:  The freshest spices will have the best flavors.  This is especially true of ground spices.  The ideal is to use a smaller amount of fresh spices, rather than worry about the overall mixture becoming gritty. Cinnamon, cayenne or whatever chile mix that might be available are all good options, adjust to fit personal tastes.

To Make Hot Chocolate:

Heat 1 cup/8oz/2.4 dL of Whole Milk just to a simmer. (I really love using a dash of Heavy Cream with my milk).  Stir in chocolate pop until melted. Keep spoon around to make sure you get all of that chocolate goodness from the bottom of cup.

Variations:

For Peppermint Chocolate: Omit Cinnamon and Cayenne, finish melted chocolate with a 2-3 small drops of Peppermint Oil before adding in dry ingredients.   Coat finished pops with powdered sugar OR sprinkle crushed peppermint candy on top of pops before they set.

For Marshmallow Chocolate: Finish pops with mini mallows before set. Make your own if you can. Fresh Marshmallows are fantastic.

For (ALL OF THE POSSIBILITIES): Add what you like.  Keep in mind that a few drops of essential oils, extracts, liquor should be okay. BUT too much liquid makes the chocolate seize and discolor. This is a best as a dry ingredient recipe. Add other flavors in as toppings for best results.

 

A note to my cousins and my mom and anyone who wants to make these: I’m happy to answer questions. I hope you make them with your monkeys and take photos. And send me the photos.  And drink lots of Ibarra for me.

 

Love,

Amanda

Things happening, Things to come.

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It’s my birthday, and I’ll work if I want to.

I’ve been in Norway for over a month already, and I’m terribly behind in writing about it.   I feel remiss in my responsibility to all of my friends and family who have been encouraging and engaged in my adventures.  Today I begin an attempt to rectify my lack of prose.

An incredibly generous friend of mine has lent me his old laptop for a few weeks, and I am making an effort to play catch up. (And figure out this laptop’s operating system. Grr.)  I’m almost overwhelmed trying to figure out where to start.  So I’ll do what I would do if I was tackling a huge project at work… Write a prep list, and start with the things that I know I can do quickly, or with tasks that I know are a priority.    To that effect, catching up means a lot of the posts that may follow will not be in chronological order.  I hope that I can find a voice in my writing that can convey my excitement and happiness, as well as my ongoing battle to find my awkward moments funny rather than embarrassing. My time so far at Lysverket in Bergen and at Minibakeriet in Eid has been nothing short of wonderful. I have loads of photos, and stories to tell.

Oh, and today I turn 30.  And yes, instead of out partying, I am sitting at the kitchen table “catching up” on “getting back” to the people I care about. This feels good.  More on my new age later, I assume.  For now, in response to the question I’ve already gotten a few times today: “How does it feel?”  I say: “Like I moved to Europe. Shit.”

Thank you for bearing with me.

Love,

Amanda

 

Greener

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If you could make me into anything you wanted

into the kind of girl you could fall in love with…

What would you change

What would I say

Would I be strong

Tell you when you were wrong

And would I stay

This girl you loved

Would I stay

If you could make the world around

The dream you’re craving

What would you change

Where you’re living

How you’re giving

Would your sidewalks remain the same

See the faces you see everyday

Who would smile first

You or me

And would it be worth everything we’ve done

She’s perfect in every way

Slim sweet doe eyed innocence and sex slave lay

This girl you want

Who walks away

If you could make her anything

You wanted

Into the the kind of girl you’d change your world for

Would she hold you up and expect the same

Would she keep to a script you wrote

Would she be smart

Love you back from the start

And when she leaves are you the same

Or would she stay

And when she leaves are you the same

Or would she stay

This girl you want

This girl you’ve loved before

This dream you’re craving

Greener than the world you’re hating

What would you change

What would you change

And would she stay

Would I stay